The Shape of Things

It takes a lot of work to be be out of shape, yet I have manged it quite successfully. You just wake up one day and say, "Good grief! How did this ever happen to me?" It reminds of Scrooge's conversation with Marley's Ghost:

"You are fettered," said Scrooge, trembling. "Tell me why?"

"I wear the chain I forged in life," replied the Ghost. "I made it link by link, and yard by yard; I girded it on of my own free will, and of my own free will I wore it."

Only in my case Scrooge would ask, "You are fat and out of shape. Tell me why?"

"I wear the spare tire I forged in life. I made it Krispy Kreme by Krispy Kreme, and M&M by M&M. Of my own free will and couch potato ways, I wear it!"

(Ironically, I once asked a visiting relative how she'd ever gotten so fat, and got the snot beat out of me for my trouble by my mother.)

My own fat and out of shape saga happened over time because I have a raging sweet tooth and I have always found taking naps a lot more fun than exercising.

So, yesterday, I decided enough was enough, and I put on a pair of sweats and thought I'd do just a little exercising to get the ball rolling on my getting into shape. I walked down several flights of stairs to the reindeer pens with my knee creaking the whole time and then I turned around and walked back up to the suite of rooms I share with Mrs. Santa. By the time I reached the top floor again, I thought I was gonna' die. The way I was huffing puffing you would have thought I had just crossed the Sahara desert.

After I had rested and my heart rate went back to normal, I asked the missus what was on t.v. It was Paula Deen cooking with butter and lots of it. Paula is one of my idols. I was soon salivating like one of Pavlov's dogs. It was then that it hit me I had been staying in shape all along, for Santa Claus, that is! Anyhow, that's how Santa sees it! Someone pass me a bag of M&M's!